Starship Troopers

“A Devouring Indulgence into a Universe in Turmoil through the Mechanics of an Eerily Similar War Machine.”

Quick Summary
“It only takes 2 years of service to obtain citizenship with the Terran Federation of Earth but for an ape, like Johnnie Rico, those 2 years may last a lifetime. A spur of the moment decision has implemented a career in one of the Federal Services most loathed yet unselfish divisions, the Mobile Infantry. Join Johnnie as a precision machine whips him into an ideal example for officer candidacy…just in time to aid humanity in the fight against the Arachnids!!!”

Review
If you have seen the movie, do not think that you know the whole story. As with most book to movie adaptations the film only portrays portions of the book and often times completely misses the theme in its entirety. Starship Troopers the novel is by no means the action-adventure comedy its counterpart leads it on to be. In fact, the novel is far more dark and oppressive, and is actually a detailed philosophical account of the American War Machine of Heinlein’s time.

This novel elaborates in excess on the hardships of a lone Argentinean, Johnnie Rico, and the experiences he accumulates as he joins the ranks of one of Earth’s most prestigious defense programs, the Mobile Infantry (MI). The majority of the book takes place in one of the Mobile Infantry’s training compounds where we watch Johnnie be transformed from a typical, young adult to a model soldier, ripe for office candidacy. Johnnie makes many mistakes throughout training, many that are almost career ending, but all of which only raises his stock as a future officer and his dedication to the MI.

Eventually the reader joins Johnnie on his first missions, dropping from within bloodcurdling planetary entry pods, onto far away worlds combating the Archanids or bullying the Skinnies. Then the books shifts Johnnie back into training to become an officer, then quickly puts Johnnie back into action as an all out invasion of the Archanids is declared due to an unforeseen attack on Earth, destroying one of its most populous cities.

Aside from the main storyline there are many side plots that are intricately woven into the flow of the novel. The most interesting of which is the path to citizenship and how honorable it is deemed to obtain such a title, despite its malevolent undertones.

The novel, in itself, is magnificent and deserves the acclaim of being a book that will be read multiple times within one’s lifespan.

Characters to Note
Johnnie Rico, Zim, Lt. Dubois, Lt. Rasczak, and Sergeant Jelal
Races: Humans, Skinnies, and Arachnids

Section of the Book that stood out
The Camp Currie Floggings, The Assault on Klendathu

Notable Quotes
“Everything of any importance is founded on mathematics.”

“Liberty is never unalienable; it must be redeemed regularly with the blood of patriots.”

“Nothing of value is free. Even the breath of life is purchased at birth only through gasping effort and pain…”

“The best things in life are beyond money; their price is agony and sweat and devotion . . . and the price demanded for the most precious of all things in life is life itself–ultimate cost for perfect value.”

“The remnants of memory bathe in a world rank with odors of hidden pleasures but what awaits in a world of repetition and that lacks innovation? Perhaps the answers lie within the Enigma Belt.”

Man awoke to the comforts of the night as a slight breeze strode over his blistering body. A small bottle partially buried in the sand laid placidly just within reach, and its contents glimmered in the dim moonlight. A patch of grotesque boils bubbling out from the once smooth skin on the back of his hand stole the bottle’s spotlight, sending a rush of pain into the forefront of Man’s consciousness. A small lizard scampered off over the adjacent dune as he let out a mortifying scream.

Dehydration sickened Man’s senses, and throbs of pain assaulted his head as he tried to lift it up from the sand. He quickly laid his face back on the sand, but the throbbing continued. In fact, any part of his body that he tried to move suffered from the day’s onslaught of radiated light, reminding Man of his earlier torment. His body began to shake from incandescent fear.

The glistening bottle caught his eye for the second time and Man questioned its existence. Earlier he had chased a mirage of an oasis through an endless desert until he finally collapsed from exhaustion and dehydration, and now he conveniently sees a bottle of water. It was almost too hard to believe, but the Sun had long left Man and enough time should have elapsed without the Sun’s unrelenting heat, allowing his mind to reestablish a firm grasp on reality. Man quickly reached for and then wrapped his fingers around the bottle. Bewildered by the surprisingly cold touch of the bottle, he became saturated with excitement.

Before Man could even cast a second thought about the peculiar state of the bottle, he had quickly pulled the bottle towards him, uncorked it and began to guzzle the encapsulated water. At first the water burned as it glided down his esophagus but after a few brief gasps of air between the initial few gulps, the rest of the bottle went down smoothly and pleasantly. Refreshed, Man tossed the bottle aside and rose from his foreboding perch.

As Man stood a pungent odor invaded his senses causing him to wallow in disgust. The stench was almost noxious, burning his nostrils as he inhaled. He took the tattered remains of his shirt and quickly held it up to his face, covering his nose. He turned, looking for a source of the odor, only to catch a small whirl of movement that somehow seemed to concave in upon itself and disappear. The burning quickly ceased and Man decided it was best to make some ground and he started to walk, hoping to find some refuge before dawn.

Nearly an hour had passed as Man wondered mindlessly astray into the immaculate darkness. Mostly he was traveling along one of the many surmounting dunes, crossing from side to side as the dune swaggered through the desert landscape. He may have crossed from one dune to another at some point but he could not remember, nor did he care. For Man had allowed his mind to go as dormant as the desert, letting go of any aspirations of finding shelter.

Man thrived in this state, no longer was he set on values unattainable. No longer did he yearn for the unnecessary.

Blissfully, Man continued to lightly tread through the menacing sand, at peace and content with the destitute of the desert and the destitute of his mind. The lack of feeling almost brought upon a state of euphoric happiness. Suddenly Man stopped and glanced back up towards the Moon and smiled. Then he turned back around, away from the Moon, and staggered off into the darkness where he could be alone and happy.

To Man the outlying darkness offered the magnitude of serenity. From within he could regroup his thoughts, reevaluate his situation and perhaps even prosper from this chance of solitude. Nothing could deter him from rejecting this offer. He continued to approach still thinking of nothing, nothing at all.

Suddenly from within the outlying darkness, a brunt wind rushed up against Man and almost knocked him to his knees. Following the wind was noise that froze him dead in his tracks. It was that peculiar word again and Man repeated it softly under his breath. Gongoozle. He looked back towards the Moon then back towards the darkness. The Moon reminded him of the bottle, and darkness now only shown signs of anguish. He quickly decided to redirect himself in the direction of the moonlight in hopes that the Moon could offer the opposite of the bone chilling word being emitted out from within the darkness.

Up and over the dunes Man went as he followed the moonlight into what he hoped would protect him from any repeat torment. He trusted this new friend, for it soothed and allowed him to soak in the sight of what could only be that of a goddess. Man followed with undying devotion until the dunes flattened and the desert was stretched to a level, horizontal gradient as far as his eye could see.

From all directions darkness assaulted the struggling moonlight, all directions except one, and Man quickly approached the comfort of this light. Further and further he went until a spec of darkness began to spring forth from within the preceding moonlight. A shadow slowly formed and become immense in proportion as he approached. Eventually a tall, slender body formed out of the shadow, followed by great arms that arose out from within the slender body. Then as if in an act of salvation, the moonlight vanquished the shadows and unveiled a lone cactus, the largest and most signified cactus Man has ever seen.

The height of the cactus dwarfed him considerably, and its many arms stretched out towards the darkness, as if taunting the enemy. Man laughed and stood as close to the cactus as he could, minding the large spines that sprung out from the cactus as hair did from Man. One spine did manage to prick Man, only adding to the awe-inspiring presence that this individual cactus had on Man.

A wind rushed up from behind, and the Cactus shook with a fierce rattle, as if it was trying to scare the wind off. Man sat and starred up at the Cactus as its silhouette lay directly in front of the Moon. Man smiled for the first time in days and sat in a state of peace, thinking that he has found someone or something that could provide him with protection from all that troubled him.

Suddenly, a face materialized our from the rigid cactus body and looked down at Man and returned his smile. The tranquility of the night remained until the Cactus eventually began to speak.

“For long eons I stood, awaiting the company of Man. Let us converse about the one you must encounter.”

The Gongoozler Series
The Gongoozler / Hark the Herald Gongoozler Beings / Cactical Reconnaissance, Insidious Gongoozler / The Idiom of the Gongoozler

“Thousands of years into the future, the most acclaimed fable of times passed is about a young, fatuitous male and his attempt to triangulate the 21st Century’s most prized, incarcerated beast…the Iridescent, Golden Marmoset. And now, with much ado, our ancestor’s ne plus ultra of stories, the classic tale of Lucas Cyr and the Golden Marmoset Part III.”

The Conclusion (Part 3 of 3)

A rubber chicken hung intuitively as the Ravaging Dave Johnson ogled Lucas Cyr and the Brotherhood of the Dying Easter Eggs as they finagled in their salt water swimming pool, loathing every second he was incarcerated by the injustice of Mayor Nickgates and the elusiveness of the Golden Marmoset. The plans he was forced to devise proved to be too purple for even he to handle, but his determination matched the audacity of his worthy opponent and, alas, the time has come to release this planned treachery onto the desiring crowd. And thus his ravaging mad proclamation began!

“Sweet Zombie Jesus! Sweet Zombie Jesus! They have been compiled! The plans to thwart the Mayor’s wish to titivate the city’s culture and to steal the Golden Marmoset!”

Lucas and the Brotherhood tumbled onto the exposed soil as if they were giant Avatars groping the tip of their peculiar wee-wees. All gathered around the decorative crate that encompassed their delusional madman, as he begun to explain each of their roles, one-by-one, and how the act of kidnapping the President no longer was required due to each of their intricate roles.

Satisfied, the poor dirt farmer released the Ravaging Dave Johnson after the reassurance that the madman’s role was of absolute necessity and was the only sure fire way to ensure that the plan was to unfurl as designed.

And after many long hours of excessive pillow talking, Lucas Cyr, The Articulate Shampoo, The Meticulous Tarzan, Ironclad Yeager, the Ravaging Dave Johnson and Robot left the compounds of the dirt farm as the Sun dove behind the wayward mountains. All where chalk full of ambiguous excitement, and many were dreaming of celebrating their victory in the confines of Dave Johnson’s bathtub, especially the Meticulous Tarzan.

However, this band of craptastic individuals were unaware of the summoning of the Obsequious Wiggles and their plans were no more than a doomed entanglement of footballs and golf balls.

**¥**

Sector 47 was awash with the zombified populous of New Atlanta, as they were violently subjected to the ill intentions of their cantankerous Mayor Nickgates, slowly exercising them into what the anti-Christ would of called a snobbish cluster of unregulated marsupials. The Mayor with his new accomplice, the Obsequious Wiggles, were perusing about the Wooly Mammoth exhibit when Lucas Cyr and the Brotherhood made their triumphant arrival, which would have been fit for any set of super heroes, well except for anyone with the legendary Batman!

“Holy Whitey Tighties Batman! It seems that my arch nemesis Lucas Cyr and his Band of poopy Easter Eggs have finally decided to show up with their inferior Tyrannosaurus Arms! Why look my Obsequious Wiggles their arms are so…so…haphazardly short!”

The Mayor’s insult directed towards the dirt farmer and his accomplices hardly phased the confident bunch but many of individuals within the zombified populous were suddenly thrown into agasp and many were later diagnosed with pop-able transposes as a result of over gasping. The air became silent and an aura of irreproachable stench began to emanate out from the wooly mammoth exhibit.

Lucas Cyr broke the stunning silence with what became the most infamous, intelligent icebreaker ever to be exposed within the boundaries of Sector 47.

“Senor, Nickgates. Let your Golden Marmoset know that MY REFRIGERATOR IS RUNNING!”

On that proclamation, Lucas stripped down to his albatross underwear and the Brotherhood split off to fulfill their part of the ingenious planned devised by the Ravaging Dave Johnson!

The Meticulous Tarzan headed towards Sector 47’s gift shop and began scratching off the UPCs from all the cans of beets. The Articulate Shampoo shot up and begin to caress an invisible, purple spotted cow. Ironclad Yeager began her arduous task of smuggling banana cream pies into Sector 47’s movie theater for animals. And Robot, as studious as she was, reached into Lucas’s sinus cavities and changed Lucas’s clock to military time!

Smiling methodically, the cantankerous Mayor proclaimed, “You Aquatards! Can’t you see! I have already foiled your pitiful plans to capture my Golden Marmoset. For you see, I have summoned the Obsequious Wiggles to stop you in every way plausible! MUH-HA-HA-HA-HE!”

The mayor’s maniacal laugh reverberated throughout Sector 47 as he slowly spun his dusty torso towards his most ingenious, evil companion, the Obsequious Wiggles. Only to be stunned by the sting of shock only comparable to the attack of a space bee. For the Obsequious Wiggles was not where she promised to remain. She was not there to stop Lucas and the Brotherhood from stealing the Golden Marmoset!

Frantic, Mayor Nickgates spat upon the concrete with the rage of a timber Wildman as he spotted Wiggles far from the post that was once promised, for she was completely consumed by the romance of another. The Obsequious Wiggles was completely astray, smelling the flowers with the Ravaging Dave Johnson!

In this was when the poor dirt farmer took action. Lucas ran up to the mayor and double crossed his arms, spun and finally jumped into the Golden Marmoset’s Moat. And off he was, swimming towards the Golden Marmoset! Climbing from the moat, there he stood, Face-to-Face with the Golden Marmoset.

Legend has it that at this very moment Lucas Cyr and the Golden Marmoset became one as they both ran off into the mystical tunnel of time and perhaps some sort of space. Whatever may have happen, the mayor, Nickgates was left to wallop in a zoo that did not contain a Golden Marmoset.

It has been said that the mayor felt worse than he had ever felt before, even worse than that time he ate the mold growing in Dave Johnson’s Basement!

Enlarged Version (800×500) Recommended Settings

Civilization Wars is probably the most enthralling flash RTS (Real Time Strategy) game that I have found in quite a long time. The game opens with an elaborate storyline (well elaborate for a flash game) and hurls you into a world on the brink of the development of a world encompassing civilization/society. An enthusing flash of light captures the people of the world as they watch a star crash into the surrounding landscape, laying ruin and devastation to all inhabitants. Ages pass as three nations rise from the ruins without much knowledge of each other but each nation has the same ancient legend that one will rise to lead them towards the power source of the star.

From there you are tasked with leading your nation into battle to capture the allure and power of the falling star. Through shear numbers and quick thinking you must make your way north, laying waste to all those who stand in your way. On your journey you will have to continually brush off the other two nations as well as defeat legendary beast (including a giant Paper Mache turtle) hordes of undead beings and a ghost or two.

The game offers a slew of options, saves, and strategies to defeat your enemies. It even has a high re-playability factor built in with options to play the same levels but with different objectives. Perhaps my favorite is the option to see how long you can survive a zombie onslaught! (Little Tip, expand fast if you want to make it through 10 waves.)

Overall the game is brilliantly developed and I would suggest checking out some of the other products released by BubbleBox.com.

Speaker For The Dead

“A Magnificently Dark Tale that Indulges Upon Humanity’s Hellbent Attempt at Redemption and Fulfillment.”

Quick Summary
“Three millennia after Ender’s viscous genocide of the Formic Race, humanity has outstretched its grasps into the far reaches of space; inhabiting over a hundred of worlds. Despite the abundance of habitable planets, intelligent life lingers in the dark…until a distant colony discovers a young spark, the third sentient race known as the Pequeninos. Will these innocent beings suffer the same fate as the Formics, or will humanity’s influence lead to it’s own demise? Join Ender as sets actions into motion that will once again, tempt humanity’s fate.”

Review

After being absolutely engulfed by Ender’s Game, I approached Speaker For the Dead with this anxious expectation of being thrilled and intrigued by yet another confrontation between Ender and the Buggers, a.k.a. the Formics. To my astonishment, the buggers had very little to do with this novel but in no way did this twist disappoint.

The book begins amongst a colony on the outreaches of humanity’s space expansion, on a fruitful world known as Lusitania. Home to a very small diversity of life, Lusitania’s bleak fortune has somehow given rise to a sentient race, the Pequeninos. This discovery causes alarm throughout the Hundred Worlds and forces the Starways Congress to impose harsh constraints upon Lusitania’s colony to keep from interfering with the Pequeninos’ Culture. In fear that humanity will once again ignorantly exterminate another race, as it did so with the Formics.

Despite these precautions, mankind must indulge itself into that which is unknown and the Starways Congress grants permission for the colony’s Xenobiologist to interact with, in hence study, this new race under very strict guidelines.

All goes as planned until the Xenobiologist, Pipo, is found brutally murdered just outside the colony gates. His torso laid slashed open in the same sacrificially manner that the Pequenino’s had violently conducted upon one of their own species just a short time before. Except this time their sacrificial victim, Pipo, did not have a tree planted within him. In deep sorrow, one of Pipo’s apprentices calls for a Speaker for the Dead to honor their fallen idol.

As chance my have it, the Speaker who receives the call is no other than Ender himself. After two decades of light travel, a mere 2 weeks for Ender, he arrives on the Lustiania only to find the call for a Speaker cancelled and two more Speaker requests for deaths within the same family. In which one was conducted in the same brutal manner as Pipo’s. Ender pursues these calls and faces a daunting challenge of both understanding and teaching not only a family but also all of humanity on how to cope with themselves and with a culture that is much different than their own but at the same time poses very similar characteristics, i.e. lust for technology.

Throughout the book, you are introduced to this very mysterious new race and are brought into the excitement of discovering all their clandestine customs. Probably the most interesting of these, is the way they reproduce and how deadly wars between tribes are essential for propagation. In addition to the Pequeninos, the book breathes life into a very exclusive family to which Ender bonds. All in all, the philosophical aspects of the book shine brightest and are sure to entice any great thinker.

Characters to Note
Humans:
Andrew Wiggin (aka ‘Ender’, The Speaker of the Dead, ‘ The Xenocide’), Novinha, Miro, Ela, Libo, Pipo

Pequeninos:
Rooter, Human, Arrow, The Wives

Other Entities:
The Hive Queen, Jane, Starways Congress

Section of the Book that stood out
• The Vivisected of the Xenobiologist and the Pequeninos
• Human’s recollection of his first birth
• Miro’s attempt to climb the colony’s electrical fence.
• Ender’s Speaker Presentation of Marcos Ribeira
• Xenologist excursions into the Pequeninos’ culture
• The Descolada and how it has sculpted the planets biodiversity

Notable Quotes

“Sickness and healing are in every heart. Death and deliverance are in every hand.”

“Once you understand what people really want, you can’t hate them anymore. You can fear them, but you can’t hate them, because you can always find the same desires in your own heart. “

“The truth is a beautiful and terrible thing, and therefore should be treated with great caution.”

“Satisfied by an illustrious space opera, you find yourself not in your living room, but on a large, rotating asteroid. Panicked, you sink your fingertips into the armrest of the recliner and your book slowly begins to float away as you are left gasping for air…Welcome to the Enigma Belt.”

His eyes opened, unveiling a world of desolation. The stench of decay assaulted the underlying sand as the man let out a gasp of oxygen-deprived air; thousands of grains of sand scattered about in a maddening shuffle. The man crunched a few grains of sand that were lingering between the clutches of his teeth. Then, as if in disgust, the man tried to lick his sun-scorched lips, only to find no satisfaction.

A state of utter confusion fell upon the deprived man, coupled with a surge of adrenaline that at first enthused him to rise from the desert sand but, despite his efforts, he remained crippled with the physical awkwardness that would typically accompany newborn calves. It took most of his regaining strength to keep himself from plummeting face-first back into the ascending dune on which he awoke.

The man shifted his weight so that he could sit and rest in the little shade that the dune provided, allowing for a chance to evaluate his surroundings.  As he sat, his eyes ventured across the desert hoping to see any sign of salvation.  But there was nothing, nothing but sand. And so, he began to think. But again, there was nothing. Where was he? How did he get here? Who was he? Not even his name arose from the depths of his mind.

He sat for some time, and his mind remained as arid as the desert before him, emptied and vacuous. Finally a word arrived, one that might complete his search for an identity, and that word was Man.  He selfishly took this word for himself, hording it with extreme self-indulgence, solidify his existence. From this point forward he knew himself as the single definition of the word Man.

Again, Man shifted his weight, trying to take in the vast ocean of infertility encompassing him. With no fear and no remorse, Man arose from the grimness of the shadows and began his ascent into the light. Man began to climb the dune.

The blazing rays of the sun blurred his vision, forcing his pupils to constrict rapidly preventing any temporary blindness from becoming permanent. Man used his hand to shield his eyes and began to search the horizon. Off in the distance he could almost make out a few plateaus but asides from that, there was only the menacing sight of more sand. Man stood staring aimlessly for a few moments, allowing enough time for the temperature of his lukewarm skin to rise to the point of elevated distress.

The vastness of the desert was an ominous sight, and Man knew he had to cross it. The question that remained was how. Man wished he knew the answer. Then out of the dry, awkward silence of the desert came a monotone voice, which emitted a single word. Gongoozle.

The initial sound startled Man and he remain motionless as if frozen with fear. Then again the voice returned in a long, drawn out mutter. Goooongoooooozlllllle. This time Man turned and faced the direction from which the voice emitted and to his amazement, roughly a mile or so away was an oasis. Man wiped his eyes in disbelief but the image remained. It was hard to make out all the details through the heat of the day, but standing beside the oasis was a large, circular silhouette that seemed to be slowly moving into the outlined shadows of tall palm trees.

Excitement in thrall, Man scuttled off towards the oasis. Nothing mattered to him now, other than reaching this destination. Within moments the Sun’s rays began to sting his skin through his torn and tattered clothing. His thirst began to multiply exponentially, and his muscles squelched in agony with every step. Despite this torment, Man continued, knowing that all he needed to survive was just a few thousand feet away.

As Man approach, the sluggish silhouette slowly became engulfed into the shadows of the oasis. Man envisioned himself as the silhouette, putting himself into the shoes of another lost traveler who was envying his arrival into the oasis, just as he was envying the arrival of the vanquished silhouette.  Soon his dream will become his reality; soon he will no longer suffer. Man pressed onward through the surmounting odds, one dragging step after another. And with each step Man’s journey progressed, the Sun continued to transcend the sky, and the oasis grew tantalizingly closer.

With the sweat of his brow blurring his vision, he reached out as he struggled through the last few steps, attempting to brace his weight upon one of the outlying palm tree. He could almost taste the refreshing spring water on the tip of his tongue. But as he flung his weight forward, and his extended hand came within millimeters of the tree, the oasis, in its entirety, quickly dematerialized into the nothingness of the desert. Man’s arrival at once became disastrous.

After a crippling plummet into the warm sand, Man opened his eyes and found himself once again stuck in a world of desolation. The oasis was gone, provoking thoughts that questioned the oasis’s initial conception, and Man found himself back to where it all had begun, lying disgruntled face down in the desert sand.  Again he lifted his head from whence it rested and ensured that his salvation had truly disappeared.

At first he saw nothing but then the voice returned. Gongoozle. Man quickly turned his head towards the sound. The oasis! It was only a few hundred feet behind him. Perhaps he had only passed out before actually reaching it. It was hot, and he had become somewhat delirious from dehydration. Man’s determination quickly gave him the strength to rise and continue towards his destination.

The few hundred feet between Man and the oasis proved to be more daunting than anyone could have ever imagined. Multiple times Man did fall, only to find himself more determined. And each time he fell, the voice returned urging him on. Gongoozle. Gongoozle. Gongoozle.

Finally, Man’s salvation was within reach. Man lurched out for the support of a palm tree, and then fell straight through the tree onto a plot of unmarked sand. This time he lay devastated from being denied his escape from the relentless pressure of the ever scrutinizing Sun and the vastness of its domain.

Just as Man was about to let go and allow his eyes to close and remain there, the mysterious voice returned. Gongoozle. And again man saw the oasis just a few hundred feet in front of him, but this time he ignored the oasis, for he now knew that this promise of fulfillment could be nothing more than a mirage brought on by his unyielding tormentor, the Sun.

Again the voice returned, much louder than before. Gongoozle. Man’s eyes jarred back open, and now the oasis was even closer.  His eyelids closed rapidly. The voice returned, as if it was whispered into his ear. Gongoozle. His eyes reopened and the oasis was next to him. Man, still lying in the sand, reached out for the palm tree. For a brief second he felt the tree’s rough surface before it vanished into thin air and Man final realized that he was only caressing the overheated sand.

Distraught, Man let out a screech of reproach then, with the last oonce of his strength, looked up towards the Sun, expressing the hatred of thousands. Man then fell back into the sand, unconscious, and there he remained as shade from the dune that paralleled his journey began to cast the evening shadow over his scorched body.

At the brink of dust, a strange, circular silhouette arose out from within the desert and stood next to Man, slyly whispering into his ears a word that would surely haunt Man’s dreams.

Gongoozle.

I will have to say that this was, by far, one of the coolest finds in a long while. Not only do I suffer from light nostalgia for this Mario game but for all 8-bit Nintendo Games. Throughout my life I have spent countless hours playing these games, then replaying these games, and then a few decades later, trying to rebuild my old systems in order to replay them again.

It is great to see a new twist on the classics. I would have to say the most impressive thing is that each character brings with them the abilities from their original game. To be honest, I was expecting the same “Mario” play style just with different characters, but boy was I ever fooled.

“Thousands of years into the future, the most acclaimed fable of times passed is about a young, fatuitous male and his attempt to triangulate the 21st Century’s most prized, incarcerated beast…the Iridescent, Golden Marmoset. And now, with much ado, our ancestor’s ne plus ultra of stories, the classic tale of Lucas Cyr and the Golden Marmoset.”

Part 2 of 3

The Brotherhood of the Dying Easter Egg returned to the amazement of their master with the Ravaging Dave Johnson encapsulated in what could have only been a net suitable for the capture of not one but two giraffes. Sounds indicating their allegiance were announced to ensure that Lucas did not enrage then gyrate dubiously on each of their Kankles until they were less than satisfied.

“Perkaaa!”

“Perkuuu!,” shouted Lucas as an acceptance of their loyalty.

Pleased, Lucas approached his prize and begun prodding the Ravaging Dave Johnson with a Bug Zapper. This action caused the entropy of the group to escalate above levels foreseen by the Fickle Acrobats of New Dheli, a state exceeded only by the devouring of Vegetable Lo Mein by a sweet and highly sweaty Golden Retriever Puppy.

Days passed as the torment continued until the Articulate Shampoo proclaimed a statement of great omnipotence!

“Snarf!”

Both the Ironclad Yeager and the Meticulous Tarzan were too stunned to speak. No one would dare to speak until Master Lucas responsed to such a Maniacal remark!

“Indubitably stated Shampoo! We are allowing the passage of time to drizzle by while those Swamp Donkeys fall victim to the Mayor’s destructive nature. Hang this varmint up by his upper third knuckle on his left index finger until he devises a plan of ridiculous proportions and bring me a snotty Tarsier! I have a strange urge to use up this Vaseline.”

The Articulate Shampoo responded with the most challenging of thoughts.

“You ax me a quest’in Boi?”

Meanwhile in the Bowels of the Mayor’s Mansion…

The cantankerous Mayor Nickgates rummaged through the tookus of his evil compilation of robotically constructed memory sticks when a strange figurine that was as yellow as the Yellow Rose of Texas entered without a sound.

Startled the Mayor squealed, “Geekburger with Cheese!”

A long silence persisted as the silhouetted slowly curtailed into the shiny reflection of what could only be attributed to the sheen of an automaton.

“Who is this who swims so eagerly in my private chambers!”

“Forgive me my liege, but time is not at hand to waste…Beep! I am the Great Robot, a subsidiary of the Dirt Farmer Lucas Cyr…Beep!”

“Ah yes, the man with the exquisite collection of blue bonnets! We dated once.”

“The one and only…Beep! He plans to conduct ill-willed actions against your fine Zoo, Sector 47…Beep! At this very moment, he is jointly planning the capture of the infamous Golden Marmoset…Beep! He collaborates with the Ravaging Dave Johnson…Beep!”

The mayor’s eyes began to ossify as anger began herding hatred into a swale of unlovable thoughts.

“Your information is most welcome Robot but I must inquire, why have you told me this?”

“My love for you supersedes even my irreproachable programming to serve Lucas at any cost…Beep! Also, you are the only one who truly understands that the Stars at night are big and bright deep in the Heart of Texas…Beep!”

“That they are. Go now and wash that control panel of yours. I must devise a way to foil the plans of the insidious Dave Johnson.”

Robot nodded and said, “Remember the Alamo, my liege…Beep!”

“Remember the Alamo!”

As Robot left, the elasticity of the room doubled and the mayor took to his journal of villainy. He opened the journal to a blank page and begun to gesticulate all that he thought.

The Mayor’s Journal of Villainy
Entry 9,367
Nick-date Octopus Thursday of the 78th Quintet of the Elementary Rose Era

Evil Deeds To Complete
1. Pull the do not remove tag off the mattress.
2. Become a vegetarian.
3. Pick Dandelions.
4. Summon the Obsequious Wiggles to defeat Lucas Cyr and groom the Golden Marmoset.

Lucas Cyr and the Golden Marmoset Part 1 of 3

Lucas Cyr and the Golden Marmoset Part 3 of 3

Professy always said, “There is something odd about those Futurama Fans.” It is hard to pinpoint exactly what it is but there is surely something that makes these devastatingly good-looking aficionados and their die hard addictions stand out amongst the rest of those so called “fanboys”. (Cough, cough, Trekkies, cough.) Perhaps it is their relentless lust to relate ever social interaction to the show through quotation or absurd, comically motion. Or perhaps it is the fact that intelligence innately latches on to great things and refuses to put them down. Whatever the case, it can be clearly stated that Futurama Fans have that eccentric audacity to stand amongst the greats.

That being said, another Futurama Fan has taken his addiction to an unprecedented point. From out of one of the highly acclaimed episodes, “Anthology of Interest II“, comes a remake of the classic arcade game “SPACE INVADERS” with a Futurama twist. If you are familiar with this episode, you may have probably just jumped out of your pants in excitement. If not, you probably stopped reading after the word “Professy”. Either way, if your still reading you should download the zip file below and indulge your senses with the freeware game Invaders! Possibly from Space!

Download the zip file. Approximately 20mbs. (Unzip into a folder then run the playHere.exe to start the game.)

The game starts out with cut scenes artfully crafted into the streets of New New York. As the Planet Express Crew enter the battlefield in their retro defense tank. The game plays fairly similar to the classic Space Invaders game buts adds a few cut scenes from the show. There are also a few power ups that the Planet Express Ship delivers throughout the game that try to remove the classic game’s redundancy.

Even if you just play for a meager 15 minutes, the download is well worth the time. If you become addicted, as many probably will, the developer added a save game feature which should help you reach those higher levels that are supersaturated with game extras!

Have fun and remember to play in moderation.

Game Developer Link and Description.

At first mention, puzzlement and idle looks are the typical initial responses followed by a quirky smile. Seriously, is this a real holiday? Simply put, it is and this event has some great values that so many children are never given the opportunity of learning.

The Memorial to Broken Dolls Day originates in Japan as a Buddhist Holiday, and is a rather simple yet ever so “un-American” holiday. Every June 3rd children are tasked with the burden of burying old, discarded, and most of the time broken toys. In addition to letting go of these relics of attachment, the children are asked to pay respects as a priest enshrines these broken playthings. Children are finally allowed to offer flowers, or any other form of homage the child sees fit, to the shrines of toys passed.

It is hard to put my thoughts on this practice in words any better than in a brief narrative I found describing this holiday. For this reason I have listed it below.

“There are few better things to teach a child than to pay respects for something that has given them pleasure or helped them, or, say, for returning the love which has been showed them from their doll or toy. It has always struck me as not-quite-right that a toy can be a beloved object one day and a dust-magnet the next, destined for the trash heap. Certainly these are holy objects in themselves, and deserve a better and more kinder fate than being mixed with broken glass and greasy unmentionables.”

In addition to this, this practice could be a great way to counter balance all the hedonistic holidays in which we have grown accustom. Just think how wonderful, a day in which we are taught how to let go rather than to want, want, want.

All in all, I would highly suggest introducing your child to such any overlooked holiday, despite the morbid undertones depicted by this post’s pictures.

Idling Implicitly.